This post is about my life's direction. It seems I have none. I just go through it aimlessly trying to figure out where I am supposed to stop and stick with one venue. I seem to want them all. Paint, Jewelry, woodworking, building, decorating. What is that?
This painting was done some years ago, I don't even know how many. It seems people either love it or hate it, but it depicts a period of time that I had to start my life over for the third time,
and with nothing more than $500. cash and a wish. I had great depression, great loss, and great pain. I didn't know where I was going. (I still don't, but it's ok.)
I wrote a poem also. I don't know if it goes with this painting or not, but was written in 1988. I will share this as my first "view" of the person I once was. I am happy to say I am not that person any more, and I think the painting shows a path of healing.
My life is a strong solid wall,
running the length of my years.
The door to my soul is rusted shut
caused by tears of pain.
Although I possess many tools that others need,
I deteriorate from lack of usefullness
to the world outside of me.
My dreams are clouds circling above me....
but out of my grasp.
I have lost the energy needed to reach them.
So many times I have tried,
only to watch life's storms
blow them farther and farther away.
I am curious what others think of the painting. I don't think it needs explanation, but for those who say "What is it", I say it is Life, with the births, the road being high and low and the swords showing the pain we all feel, as well as the warmth of love that eventually wins over our hearts.
Comments on my poem would also be good. It's sad, but it's life.
I am happy to say that this period of my life pretty much ended when I met my beloved Gary.
He has shown me much love and compassion and just plain generosity of spirit and humor, bringing me back to a healthy mental state and thereby being who I am today. Truly happy.
I truly hope I have touched someone today.