Today was a spontaneous day of fun with one of my grandaughters, Allysa. It is known among my family that I spend more time with her sister, but today I decided I needed to pay Allysa a little attention. Allysa loves photography, so she said she would love to go with me, with camera in hand, to take some pictures wherever we happened to land. We went to several places, one of them being a nature park where we found this beautiful flower. I don't know what name it has, but I would like to have it in my own garden.

It was a wonderful day discovering how to use the camera, setting up a tripod my Gary gave me a few days ago, and just having a little girl time playing. The weather was just perfect, some sun, some clouds, about 68 degrees.

She took over a hundred pictures, many of them flowers, but mostly of some airplanes landing and taking off at the airport, They are not the best, but they are memories of a wonderful day shared by Grandma and grandaughter, and great practice for an upcoming photographer.

After my last post I felt that it was too down to leave so I thought I might put a pretty picture up to lift up those old feelings.

This is "Marshmallo". I purchased the pattern to make her when I was in Arizona at a wonderful
shop called "Bear Makin's" in Phoenix. She was just irresistable. I also purchased the English
Mohair to make her and I'm glad I did as I have never seen it anywhere else for sale, although I'm sure it is sold on line.

I managed to make 3 of them so my two daughters would each have one plus mine.

It seems I can only make a few of any one thing, then I have to move on to something else. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not.

Hope you like her. I would love to share her pattern, but I think there are probably copyright issues there since I did not design her. I can share that the company who makes the pattern is "A Roosevelt Bear Co.", the Designer Alexia Roosevelt , and they are located in Sunnyvale Ca. Perhaps they have a web site. It was too many years ago I bought the pattern, so I don't know if it is even made anymore.

That's it for today.

Direction

In this post, I am going to do something I rarely do. Share a part of me. Not just my art, but a piece of me hidden for many years. I am never comfortable with this, but I have come to find through other blogs that I enjoy reading about others trials. So many are similar it makes me feel a part of them. I just never wanted anyone to "see" me and the pain I struggled with for so many years. It turns out I am human just the same.

This post is about my life's direction. It seems I have none. I just go through it aimlessly trying to figure out where I am supposed to stop and stick with one venue. I seem to want them all. Paint, Jewelry, woodworking, building, decorating. What is that?

This painting was done some years ago, I don't even know how many. It seems people either love it or hate it, but it depicts a period of time that I had to start my life over for the third time,
and with nothing more than $500. cash and a wish. I had great depression, great loss, and great pain. I didn't know where I was going. (I still don't, but it's ok.)

I wrote a poem also. I don't know if it goes with this painting or not, but was written in 1988. I will share this as my first "view" of the person I once was. I am happy to say I am not that person any more, and I think the painting shows a path of healing.

Extremes

My life is a strong solid wall,

running the length of my years.

The door to my soul is rusted shut

caused by tears of pain.

Although I possess many tools that others need,

I deteriorate from lack of usefullness

to the world outside of me.

My dreams are clouds circling above me....

but out of my grasp.

I have lost the energy needed to reach them.

So many times I have tried,

only to watch life's storms

blow them farther and farther away.

P. Beck

7/5/88

I am curious what others think of the painting. I don't think it needs explanation, but for those who say "What is it", I say it is Life, with the births, the road being high and low and the swords showing the pain we all feel, as well as the warmth of love that eventually wins over our hearts.

Comments on my poem would also be good. It's sad, but it's life.

I am happy to say that this period of my life pretty much ended when I met my beloved Gary.

He has shown me much love and compassion and just plain generosity of spirit and humor, bringing me back to a healthy mental state and thereby being who I am today. Truly happy.

I truly hope I have touched someone today.

Today I decided that I could do yardwork or make jewelry. Guess which one I chose. I am intrigued with this process of using broken china and solder and so I designed this piece which I am quite happy with. I put an extra long chain on it so it sits right above my waist. What fun it was to make but challenging and I realize I can use some practice to make it look smoother and a little less home-made. But hopefully time and patience and practice will get me to a point where I can be really proud of my work.