It's Monday night, the night that hurricane Sandy is due to arrive here in the Northeast and I haven't even finished the repairs from hurricane Irene.  Everything is on hold, but I'm finding myself not caring at all of what is to come.

Perhaps because I have no control over it, perhaps because I know what it is like to not know what is to happen and because I know that no matter what happens, if I am alive tomorrow and can see another day, that all is well.

I can no longer afford to let life and her lessons keep me down.  I've been down so many times for so many reasons, that I just don't want to be there any more.  And........ I have faith.  Faith that what is to come will show me things I did not know,  That life is more than what is destroyed.

  Perhaps our creator has gotten so upset with the violence and destruction here on earth with people and the wars and the fighting that he/she/it has decided to show us some real violence in order to calm us down.  In order to put the right things in order and prioritize our lives so that we understand the precious gift of life and how it cannot be taken for granted and should not be destroyed for the sake of religion, or oil or any of the other forsaken beliefs. To know that to wake up in the morning and wonder how many people you will kill today is not what was intended when he gave birth to you.
To bomb buildings and destroy towns and villages and the people in them after years of building and hard work is not in anyone's best interest and does nothing to make the world a better place is not what should be done.

Perhaps to wake up in the morning and rejoice in the air we breathe, to soak up the beauty of a sunrise and realize that life is ours to enjoy.  That if we have love in our hearts we can bring peace and harmony to those around us and help each other in the  struggles that life brings.  That we don't have to participate in those events and circumstances that bring us anger and fear and resentment.
That we can decide to surround ourselves with people who make us feel good about ourselves, and in doing so we create a life that is joyful and playful and one in which we want to give of ourselves to someone elses life and build on that.

Enough babbling for now.  I don't even hear the wind blowing and it has hardly rained.  I'm thinking my God is sparing me.  The wind is overhead and not on the ground here.  My windows are not rattling and they always do when the wind blows.  Perhaps he has decided that I and my neighbor who is in her 80's and lost her little dog this morning have had enough lately and the storm is going over and around us.  I will let you know.  Right now there is no fear in my heart. 
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Well, it's been a few days and I have done some work but used the wrong camera and cannot post the pictures.  No matter.  A new revealation has occurred to me.

I just spent another two days in the hospital.  It seems every time I work on the house I end up sick or in the hospital.  For me this is the 4th time and it has come to my attention that the Universe has been sending me messages and I have ignored them.  I am not to work on this myself.  Therefore I am going to spend probably my entire savings account to hire someone to come in and finish it.

I have started over in life too many times to be concerned with whether I have any money or not.  When I left my first marriage I left with $500.00 in my pocket and a self employed job.  Nothing to depend on or no one to depend on but myself.  And, I survived. 

Of course a year and a half later I found out I had cancer in my neck and underwent surgery and radiation and ended up broke and on welfare and food stamps for a period of time until I was told I had to move from my apartment and move to the projects.  Well that didn't go over too well with me so I again knew I could not depend on anyone but myself and I survived.

A few years after that I met a man I liked a lot and after knowing him for a month I up and dismantled my apartment and went on the road with him for the next 52 weeks before we stopped for a bit.  22 years later after a wonderful journey through life he left via a heart attack and again I was left but to depend on no one but myself.  Now, 2.5 years later I am here and surviving. 

I know for certain that even if I spend my last dime to get this house liveable again I will come out on top and be the happier for it.  For some reason the Universe has always taken care of me.  I think it comes from faith because it has always done so for me in the past.  I need nothing more than to know I am capable of finding what it is I need, be it a friend to chat with or a hot meal or place to stay or a short term job to give me the cash I need to meet an obligation.  It will come.  If I ask the universe to help me along, it does.

This is a concept few people can grasp.  For them it seems security is in having things and money .  For me security is in knowing I have everything I need to get me through another day.  It is within my power to access what I need through my experiences with life.  There is always help out there and there is always hope and  faith.  with these things which cannot be bought we can find what we need to survive and in some instances thrive.  We become stronger because we see the strength we didn't know we had come to serve us in ways we didn't know were possible.  And with that we build ourselves up again and again and again. 

Thanks for stopping by.
Peggy

An update on what has happened since last post.  I now have a gas stove with the tile work behind the stove..  My small bath is tiled and grouted but trim work yet to be done. 

I did hire someone to install this tile as I was too intimidated to tackle it myself and am pleased with the results.

Here is a picture of my pink bedroom where I only wallpapered the front wall as an accent.  some fabric shades or white drapes will probably follow.  I'll let you know and post pics.  It will be a while for that though.

 

 

Can't seem to find the picture of the tile work, so will take some and get back later.  I will be putting in the floor molding today and then priming and painting. 

Hope you enjoy seeing my progress.  Hope to get it all done and be in it before I have to have my next surgery.  It may be sooner than I was planning.  A motivation factor for sure.

Thanks for stopping by and for any comments you may leave.  I am always grateful to those who tell me what they think.  It gives me guidance. 

 

Living room where gas heater will be installed.

 

 

 

This is the tile I laid myself for the gas heater to be set upon.  Not a long nor hard job.  I first had to put a leveler on the floor to support the tile so it would not crack.  The boards underneath were somewhat curved due to warping. 

Obviously I had the stove professionally installed.  I did however hang the sheetrock myself in this room. I did have help from my daughter to do the cement board behind the furnace.  That was a challenge to say the least.  Problems came up.  Something to think about.  I didn't know I needed an electrical outlet for the furnace so I had covered up the box.  Of course I then found out I did need it and had to remove the cement board and recut to allow for that.  Sounds easy, but believe me we were about to tear our hair out.

Now this was my tenants master bedroom.  The cabinet was in the master bath area, just moved for convenience to work.  The bedroom currently looks like this........

The walls are a very pale pink with wallpaper.  I will furnish pattern and company if anyone wants to know, but I don't have it handy right now.

Enough for today.  I'll update more shortly.  Making progress. 

Thanks for stopping by.  Hope your projects are also coming along.  Will be searching your blogs for inspiration that you all furnish me with.