Again I am daunted by unforseen circumstances. Since I have been unable to do this work due to health issues, I have been forced to hire people to do it for me.
I am awaiting the installation of my laminate flooring. I was all set to get it started. I am helping the person who is helping me. Another trip to the hospital for an overnight observation and now I have decided I can do nothing physical until I can get myself back in shape. Another delay. Another dissappointment, another bout with depression as I fight my way back to a place where I might be able to function. By that I mean a mental place as well as a phsical place. Both seem to elude me and leave me feeling incapable of progress. Another excuse? Seems sometimes I am full of them. Perhaps they come along in time to slow me down till the money arrives. I don't know. There is a deep fear of running out of my savings before the work is done. Maybe it's the universe's way of making sure that doesn't happen. Either way, it is another delay in my moving into this new space.
For now I must replenish my spirit, my desire, my health. I'm tired. This journey to come back again has worn me out. I find I'm beginning not to care any more. I know that to be temproary thinking, and it's what makes me know I must get away from it for a while till I am ready to "take it on" again.